Monday, May 16, 2011

The End of the Beginning

So freshman year is over.  I'm officially a sophomore in college.  Wow, what a weird thought.  It seems like a week ago that I was deciding to major in Musical Theater and taking my first trip to New York to audition... Time flies... I'm so unbelievably thankful for everything I've been exposed to over the last year at school.  I've learned so much, not just about my craft but about myself and about people in general.  Freshman year was kind of a whirlwind.  We were all given so much information and just tried to soak up as much of it as we could.  Awhile back I wrote a post called Imperfection.  Read it if you haven't... It's one of my favorites and sums up a huge part of my struggle as an artist.

I felt like THAT for a lot of my time this year, but I guess the flip side of that is knowing how much room there is for improvement and knowing that if you work hard enough you can get there... Or get close enough to there that it doesn't matter.  You will never be perfect and the sooner you realize that, the better.  It's a lot harder to come to terms with than you'd think.

While the first year was overwhelming in that way, it's really opened my eyes to what's in the future for my training.  This year has also helped me to learn to trust the process.  That's been one of my main phrases to live by this year.  There were times when I thought "There's no way we'll be able to learn this music in time!" or "This choreography will never look good on stage!" or "This has nothing to do with musical theater!" And I'll tell you what... I was wrong every single time.  My professors know more than they'll ever be able to share, and sometimes I need to remind myself of that.  This school wouldn't have a top tier program if they weren't doing something right.  I definitely have control issues, so it's been difficult to grasp on to the idea of giving the reins over to someone else.

Every so often it really helps to stop and take a step back from you day to day life and realize how lucky you are. I may have had an impossible amount of homework to do, but would I really have wanted it any other way?  I found that every so often stepping back really helps to put perspective on a situation.

Another motto I really started living by toward the end of the year was this:  See what you dislike about others in yourself.  This motto stemmed from my good friend Alexis Scheer (Check out her blog >here<). Anyway, we were talking one night about someone who was pissing us off and she told me that many of the traits this person has that annoy her are traits that she has too.  I thought this was a really mature thing to recognize.  Most adults I know wouldn't be able to step that far outside of themselves to recognize something like that.  So it's something that I've been working on a lot lately.  It really helps to alleviate the frustration from someone that you can't control onto yourself, who you can control.

I definitely think that being away from home has helped me appreciate what I have here in Salt Lake.  Sure, my family is already pissing me off, but I know that A) I'm going to be living with them all summer so I need to get used to it and B) The second I get on that plane to go back to school I'm going to miss them, so I might as well make the best of the time I have with them.

It's been great to catch up with old friends too.  I've realized that sometimes the people who have the best influence in your life aren't the people you spend the most time with.  True friendship is when you can be away from someone for months at a time, meet up for coffee, and it feels like no time has passed at all.  I have a feeling this is going to be a great summer... 

I want to make a special shout out to my best friend in the world, Gavin Parmley.  You are one of the strongest people I know and if anyone can get through this, you can.  Know that my thoughts are with you, even when I can't be.

1 comment:

Skyler Martinez said...

You've learned quite a bit in your first year of college! Glad you are back for the summer, and enjoy every moment you have with your family. Keep up the posting! And your blog looks great!